Summary
What kind of hospitable gestures would your intimate foreign friends extend to your children when they visit their home countries? Given that context question, I am sharing two stories about three overseas friends who went out of their way not only to pick my children at the airports – but dined them out as well. The first incident involving my eldest son, Mikhail Robert, happened in Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, Malaysia. The second circumstance was about my only daughter Zarina Hannah in Sydney, New South Wales, Australia.
1. Three Intriguing Questions
This blog’s essence is about your relationship with friends from overseas or foreign countries. At the outset, I shall pose a series of three interlinked questions. I am using the masculine pronoun so the blog will not be lengthy; my apologies outright to gender equality advocates for opting not to be gender-sensitive.
First question: “Will your intimate foreign friend dine you out if you visit his home country?” Of course, he will! The question is a no-brainer. That is the least kind of hospitality that he will extend to you. You are probably annoyed that I have posed such an obvious and elementary question in the first place.
Second question: “Will he pick-up you at the airport if you request him to do so?” Of course, he will! That is particularly true if you advise him ahead of time, and he has no other compelling commitment on the day and/or time of your scheduled arrival. Airport pick-up is one of the most personalized gestures that your close foreign friend may extend to you.
If he cannot personally pick you up, he will at the very least arrange for somebody else to fetch you. Or else, he may guide you on how to access the most convenient commercial transport such as reputable taxi companies. He may also help you secure either Uber or Grab rides, which are reasonably safe and reliable transport modes these days.
But what if I re-phrase the abovecited two questions into my third and final question. That is: “Would he extend the same hospitality of airport pick-up and dining out to your children?” Hmmm. Devious question? Take a pose and ponder a little.
This reformulated question has become a sort of tricky one as you are not personally involved but your family members instead. Extending such hospitality to your children – to my mind – is a manifestation of your overseas friend’s high regard for you. If not, it somehow reflects the degree of importance of your relationship with him. That is my thesis, which I will argue in the closing rejoinder, for this multi-country story.
2. Geographic Context
I shall share reflections about three close overseas friends who went out of their way to pick two of my children at their airports. Moreover, these gentlemen likewise took them out for sumptuous meals. Hence, I requested my children to write the narratives in their own words. I am sort of ‘tweaking’ the blogging practice by having guest writers! Their stories have remained largely intact; I only did minor editorial enhancements to polish the language and added a few textual descriptions to elaborate on some Filipino terms used.
The first incident – involving my eldest son – happened in Kota Kinabalu (KK), Sabah, Malaysia, in February 2016. The second circumstance with my only daughter occurred in Sydney, Australia, in 2017. I provide a map below to visualize the geographic context of these two countries (Figure 1).
3. Mikhail Robert’s Malaysian Trip
Sometime in January 2016, my eldest son Mikhail Robert (then 29 years old) asked me for some profile information about KK, knowing that I had gone there a few times in the past. (I’ll refer to him as merely Robert from hereon.) He casually asked me if I still have friends there as he was traveling ahead of their mountaineering group. Robert would join a mountain climbing adventure with his
Filipino friends at KK’s famous peak, Mount Kinabalu.
Although I have a few friends from KK, the names of Dr. Anthony ‘Tony’ Tibok and Dr. James Alin immediately came to my mind. To notify them about Robert’s trip, I simply emailed them the following information: (1) he would visit KK from 22-29 February 2016; (2) Robert was arriving two days ahead of his companions; (3) that will be his first time to visit KK; and (4) if there was a chance to meet him. It was just a casual email that I shared with Robert. There was no specific request – and no mention whatsoever – of either picking Robert at the airport or dining him out. Affirmatively, they responded that they would be happy to meet him.
A native of Sabah, Dr. Tibok (Box 1) is a well-known private entrepreneur. He is currently engaged in plantation development and sustainability certification consulting. I first met Dr. Tibok sometime in September 1989 at Wye College (at that time part of the University of London system) in Ashford, Kent, England. I was a recipient of the UK Government’s Chevening global scholarship program to pursue an M.Sc. in Rural Resources and Environmental Policy. [Check my earlier blog about ‘Spotted Dick’ at Wye College].
Employer: Self employed
Position: Own boss
Specialization:
Plantation Development and Sustainability
Academic Qualification:
Ph.D. in Plant Biotechnology from University of Nottingham, England, 1995
Box 1. Profile of Dr. Anthony Tibok, Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, Malaysia.
We became good buddies as we shared the same dormitory called as Lloyd’s. He was an incoming master’s degree student, while I was an outgoing one. I only extended my stay in England until the middle of December 1989 to attend a 10-week microcomputer training course. A quarter of a century later, I met him again when I visited KK in 2013 during an official trip. Dr. Tibok gave us a surprise party at a restaurant called Cock and Bull where we fondly reminisced our good, old days at Wye College.
On the other hand, Dr. Alin (Box 2) is an academic based at the University Malaysia Sabah (UMS). I met him while organizing a regional conference about Brunei Indonesia Malaysia Philippines-East ASEAN Growth Area (BIMP-EAGA), a sub-regional economic cooperation initiative in Southeast Asia. At that time, I was the Vice President for Research and Extension of my employer, the Palawan State University (PSU). UMS was a co-organizer of PSU at two regional BIMP-EAGA regional conferences in 2013 and 2016. Dr. Alin visited us several times (including a trip with Dr. Tibok) in Puerto Princesa City, Philippines, where PSU is located.
Employer: University Malaysia Sabah (UMS) – Faculty of Business, Economics and Accountancy
Position: Senior Lecturer
Specialization: Human Resource Economics
Academic Qualification: Ph.D. in Economics from Yokohama National University, Japan, 2003
Box 2. Profile of Dr. James Alin, Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, Malaysia.
Since I got immersed in work, I had already forgotten such email communications to them. Thus, I was pleasantly surprised when Robert informed me that Dr. Tibok fetched him at the KK airport. More importantly, he was in real-time feasting with Malaysian food and drinking beer over dinner with both Dr. Tibok and Dr. Alin. Below is Robert’s story about his encounters with them.
4. Sharing of Son Mikhail Robert
On 22 February 2016, Uncle Tony picked me up at the KK airport, and we had lunch at a local restaurant with some rice and chicken. (In Asia, as a sign of respect, it is acceptable to call ‘uncle’ an elderly male, although there is no blood relation.) The food was good.
He gave me a brief history of how he and my Dad knew each other back at Wye College in England and an overview of KK. Uncle Tony shared some stories about my Dad, who he said at that time was considerably slimmer. I queried him about the one thing that he distinctly remembered about my Dad. Without any thought, he responded with these words: “Michael Pido was always cooking English bacon!”
On the following day, Uncle Tony fetched me at my hostel, and we ate at a local restaurant that had excellent local food. The dishes were quite tasty, and the place was packed with locals – which is always a good sign. We chatted about his business ventures in KK and his world travels, such as his trip to Germany. As a foodie, I share some restaurant photos and the meals we partook (Figures 2-7).
We then went to a Gaya Street spot to grab a drink or two and met his friend Dr. James Alin (Figures 8 and 9). Uncle Tony and Dr. James discussed some tips on places to see in KK. Dr. James also showed the islands he recently visited where turtles were spawning and his dive trips.
We moved to another place called Cock and Bull near the Waterfront of KK to meet with their friends who are doing some real estate ventures. We chatted some more and had a couple of bottles of Guinness beer (Figure 10). Dr. James then dropped me off at my hostel at around two o’clock in the morning. As my Dad’s intimate friends, I was genuinely thankful for the unexpected hospitality extended to me by these two esteemed gentlemen.
5. Zarina Hannah’s Australian Trip
The second circumstance occurred in Sydney, New South Wales (NSW), Australia, in 2017. This time, it involved my daughter Zarina Hannah (then 23 years old), whom I shall refer to as Hannah onwards. She was hired by the privately-run Mater Hospital to work as a staff nurse and was coming to Sydney for the first time. At that time, Hannah had just undergone major stomach and intestinal operations while in Malak, Darwin.
This time, I specifically sought the help of Dr. Michael Fabinyi (Box 3), one of my closest Australian friends. I requested him to pick Hannah up at Sydney Airport if there was a chance and carry her heavy relocation luggage as well due to her post-operation condition. The two have never met each other prior to that incident. Dr. Fabinyi readily acceded to my request, a rather tough one, as it was a working day at that time, and the airport is about half an hour drive away from his workplace.
Employer: University of Technology Sydney – Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences
Position: Associate Professor
Specialization: social, political and cultural aspects of marine resource use and management
Academic Qualification: Ph.D. in Social Anthropology from Australian National University, 2009
Box 3. Profile of Dr. Michael Fabinyi from New South Wales, Australia.
I have known Dr. Fabinyi since the mid-2000s when he was still doing his Ph.D. dissertation in Palawan Province. We have collaborated with several research projects and have shared many adventurous field works – such as Occidental Mindoro, Oriental Mindoro, and Palawan – in the Philippines. Hannah shares her association with him in the next section.
6. Sharing of Daughter Zarina Hannah
On 1 February 2017, I was very grateful to Mike, who picked me up at the airport, despite having not known me before. (In Australia, it is customary to address a person by the first name, regardless of socio-economic stature, instead of the formal title such as Doctor or Professor.) It was reassuring to find my first friend in Sydney as it was a daunting adventure right after having my first operation.
I learned Mike was someone you can’t play around with my first language (Tagalog). Surprisingly, he was quite competent conversing with me in Tagalog. I learned that he was fond of biko (sticky rice cooked with coconut milk and brown sugar) and garlic nagaraya (a popular brand of roasted peanuts) – snacks I am well too familiar with.
Mike invited me later for lunch at a Filipino restaurant to meet his family and catch up (Figure 11). I had the chance to eat some of the dear foods I missed greatly, such as sinigang na hipon and kare-kare. (The former is a type of sour soup wherein shrimp is the main ingredient mixed with a variety of vegetables, while the latter is a stew of oxtail with a creamy and thick peanut sauce.) I can’t remember the other dishes that we ate. I can say that the restaurant was almost authentic to the taste back home. It was nice to see his wife and son also enjoying Filipino cuisine. It was quite amusing for me – I did not think I would have a better appetite for sharing a Filipino meal with people with a different culture and background.
On 4 November 2018, Mike again invited me to another Filipino restaurant that they wanted to try out. It is called Lazza, which is located at 246 Marrickville Road in Marrickville, NSW. Again, the foods (sisig, kare-kare, lumpiang sariwa and garlic rice) were something to come back for. (Sisig is made from pig head and chicken liver parts that are seasoned with lemon, onions, and chili peppers while lumpiang sariwa is a fresh spring roll dish composed of different vegetables.) We went to a café afterward. It felt quite embarrassing as they always happily paid for my meals.
Mike had quite perfect timing as I was in a big dilemma when he invited me out again. I had to decide whether to accept a full scholarship offer in Darwin – or return to Manila to study medicine. He provided me with a refreshing perspective as he shared his opinion based on his life and work experiences. I realized that to achieve my dream of spearheading rural and remote health programs, I had to empower myself first. He recommended I become realistic and practical first at this stage. In this way, I can become more idealistic during my later years.
I learned that Mike, who was originally my Dad’s close colleague, quickly became an important friend – someone who can provide me with unbiased and reliable advice. It was surprising to become easily comfortable with someone I thought would be very different from me.
7. Author’s Rejoinder
In retrospect, airport pick-up and dining them out are two of the most personalized gestures that your close foreign friends may extend to your children. To my mind, these hospitable deeds reflect the higher level of regard that your overseas friends may extend to you.
My three overseas friends – Dr. Tibok and Dr. Alin from Malaysia and Dr. Fabinyi from Australia – are no ordinary fellows. All of them are doctorate degree holders from top-notch universities and are quite successful in their respective businesses and/or professions. Yet despite their stature and busy schedules, they took the time and efforts to extend hospitable gestures to my son Robert and daughter Hannah.
As the old saying goes, ‘true friends are hard to find’, and I am indeed very fortunate to have known them through the years. These three gentlemen are among those whom I count as my ‘friends for life’. Going back to my earlier thesis, your real and true overseas friends will be hospitable to your children and will treat them as among their own. All that I can express through this blog is my sincerest gratitude to the three of them – this time in Spanish.
Muchas gracias, tres amigos!
Hi Mike
Thank you for this nice sharing of yours. Incidentally, both Anthony Tibok and James Alin are my usual buddies when I am in KK.
I also read Michael Fabinyi’s papers on Palawan. I have yet to submit that paper though for publication.
Thanks again for sharing. Keep writing. Are you still in PSU?
Hi Linda – Thank you for your feedback. It’s great to know that the affable Dr. Anthony Tibok and Dr. James Alin are our common friends in Kota Kinabalu. You would be delighted to meet Dr. Michael Fabinyi – very nice fellow. Yes – am still at Palawan State University. Hope all is well with you and the family there in Malaysia. Cheers.
Enjoyed reading it, Sir Mike! ? I’d like to add something, aside from your thesis that was proven in your rejoinder. Hospitality (the genuine type, not the fake facade like some would show) shouldn’t be more expected among Filipinos only but to anyone who has a good heart and someone who has had a great experience with another person. Like the 3 doctors here, they most probably have established a very good friendship with you, Sir—reason for them to fondly extend the abovementioned hospitable gestures to your children.
Hi Archie – Thank you for sharing your perspective. Much appreciated!
Very touching to read these comments and memories. I go back to Lazza cafe sometimes for the ube ice-cream:)
Hi Mike – Thank you for your feedback. Hannah speaks very fondly of you and your family. Please extend our warmest greetings to your wife Sarinda and son Nico. Cheers!
Very nice sharing Doc Pids, truly you are fortunate to have them as friends. It was fun to read. More stories
Hi Tin – Thanks also for taking the time to read and providing a feedback. I am truly blessed to have wonderful overseas friends. Please watch out for more stories.
Hi Mike I guess we have the same heartwarming experience with travel hospitality extended by friends and colleagues, whom I call global friends. From airport pick up to dining and sightseeing they’re all out in extending their hospitality to me and my family. I have 5 kids who often travel with us (hubby and I). Imagine 7 of us at one time. Transporting us is already a hassle and yet friends would often rent a bigger vehicle to accommodate us! But of course I would inform them months ahead of our trip for a heads up. So far, I haven’t had any disappointments yet. I guess you’re right that our professional and personal relationships with them count a lot!
Hi Ceres – Thanks a lot for sharing your own experience. Hospitable gestures are indeed heartwarming. If you won’t mind, I’d like to borrow your term ‘global friends’. This is my first time to learn, though, that you have 5 kids. Please share more about your family and work. I look forward to meeting you all in the near future. Do take care. Cheers for now.
Thanks for sharing these good and touching stories, Sir Mike. I added your blog to a site reader notification service, so I should be updated whenever you post something.
Hi Ryan – Thank you taking the time to read and providing a nice feedback. A blessed Sunday to you.
I enjoyed reading Sir Mike…Indeed true friends are hard to find…
I agree with you, Joey. True friends are among the rarest gems to find!
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